10 YEARS!!

     Ten years freedom. Ten years since I have had a drink. Ten years since I have had an illegal substance. Ten years from my bottom. Ten years of this new life God has given me. Ten years of freedom from active addiction. To say I am grateful doesn't even scratch the surface. I hurt so many people in my life. I tried so many times to quit on my own and couldn't. I just kept getting deeper and deeper into this dark life. I did not even recognize myself anymore and hated who I had become. I kept praying to God to intervene. And HE sure did. In 2001 I went to prison. Although I wish I could say that was IT for me, IT WASN'T! I ended up using that night I got out. Nothing had really changed.  I was right back at it. Manipulating, lying, using, staying up for days, and just existing. I got arrested again with a whole bunch of new charges and was looking at going back to prison for three years. I got sentenced to the Phoenix House instead in 2002 And completed long term treatment there. My actual clean date is July 23rd 2004. I had a relapse after having several months in the program but it just made me more aware of things I can NOT DO and a truer understanding of the first step. I completely surrendered and trusted GOD with my life. I got an apartment here and rode a bike. I worked 2 jobs and did whatever was necessary to start a new life. I did not do it alone and I'm so grateful for that. I am so happy that God's plan was so much better than my plan. I know to many my life may seem boring or simple. To me my life is rich and full and colorful. At one point in my life I thought I'd never get the chance to be a mom and God heard my prayer and answered it. I have a relationship with my KING. His GRACE amazes me everyday. He helped me find RECOVERY! He gave me two beautiful children. Two boys that I adore. A hard working husband who loves Jesus. A huge family that loves and helps me. Wonderful parents. ALL 4 OF THEM!! Amazing siblings. Generous and loving friends. My health. My ability to help others. MY LIFE! At one point I could not even stay clean for ten minutes or ten days and to be celebrating 10 years is a BLESSING.   I am beyond thrilled and so THANKFUL. One of my favorite verses is 2 Timothy 1:7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.  I love this.  Courage. Love. Ten years!