Hold me mommy!!

I LOVE CHRISTMAS TIME!! I really love it this year in our new home.  I am trying to cook a meal for someone today who just had a baby, make calendars for grandparents, bake cookies with the kids, wrap presents, and send out Christmas cards. I stopped to take Nani on a long walk in the middle of it all and my sweet Holden was saying "Hold me mommy". I DID!! He is heavy but I will hold and carry him until he doesn't ask me to anymore. He just turned 4 and is such a sweet soul. He is rowdy but loving. He loves babies and animals. I picked him up and he gave me a rock. He loves to give me rocks and pine cones and sticks and weeds. I keep a lot of them. They are precious to me. He is home with me today and so fun to be with. Tanner lost another tooth 2 nights ago. He sure is a snaggle tooth. :) He is so cute. He just turned 7 and loves to ask lots of questions about things. He loves to draw and pretend. We worked on his homework together last night and wrote about a holiday tradition. He wrote about Billy and I taking them to church on December 23rd every year and then we go look at lights and get Peachwave(frozen yogurt). They even have Eggnog which is my fave. It has been our own family tradition for the last few years and he wrote about it for school. Such a precious boy. He loves to pretend and this year he loves pretending he's Santa. He makes a beard and puts socks on his hands for gloves. HIS IMAGINATION is big and I love it about him. I am so grateful for my boys. Billy and I have our own tradition of shopping together every year and this year we did 2 nights. Sushi and shopping. I have so much fun parenting with him. He makes me laugh. Our annual shopping for the boys and rest of the family is one of my all time favorite things. We have a system and are in sync.  I love my family. Thanking God for our new home this year and all the memories we will make here. So Grateful!! 1 Peter 4:8 Above all love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Sweet November

     I am home today watching Inside Out right now with the kids. We have been home. We actually watched Christmas movies this morning. The kids caught a bug. When the little people in your family are sick it is never fun. Tanner got sick Thursday night and Holden this morning. PUKE! (sorry for the visual but part of a mom's resume' none the less) it is just REAL life. Honestly I am happy to just be home today. I am thankful for disinfecting my house and children who are just laying around watching movies with me and Billy. OCTOBER was busy with lots of fun stuff. We went to Disney, celebrated 9 years of marriage in Atlanta with a get away weekend just Billy and I, went  to Coon Hollo, attended the  Parade and Sing at Holden's little sweet pre-school, trick or treating in our new neighborhood and lots of park time and family walks. We melted crayons on pumpkins too for the first time.  The boys loved it! I had a goal of writing on the blog twice a month but kids activities, reading with Tanner, homework and play dates with Holden are more important. Then there is cooking and cleaning and hanging out with the husband. By the end of the day I'm beat and the blog gets neglected. :) I felt inspired today as I LOVE NOVEMBER!!  I have over 12 years clean off drugs and alcohol and something I have done since I got clean is make gratitude lists. I have been having the boys do them too. Tanner has come up with some good ones. That is what November is all about. Thankfulness. My boys are turning 4 and 7 soon. Looking forward to their party next weekend with our dear friends and family. I am grateful. Even through the puke and mess of life I am EXTREMELY GRATEFUL!! Like I heard at the IF gathering I am too busy watering my own grass. :) Tanner and I are reading These Happy Golden Years and they truly are that. The Happy Golden Years.

Unstuck

     I have been wanting to blog forever. We just closed on our new house August 31st. We sold our previous house and closed on it the same day. I LOVE OUR HOME!! Billy and I are fulfilling dreams and working hard.  It is crazy moving with 2 children and trying to get situated. Wish somebody would have said something. I was able to go to a Women's Spiritual Retreat this weekend and that was our speaker's catch phrase. "Wish somebody would have said something." She was so funny!! Her message and the message from the whole weekend was pretty clear. Where do you feel stuck? Where is the enemy distorting the TRUTH? Is God trying to tell you something? She got pretty raw about God calling her out of her comfortable Christian life. I felt so connected to God this weekend. I was invited by my friend Jessica and we laughed so hard. Laughter is such good medicine. Her friendship is so sweet to my soul. :) I especially connected with The speaker sharing about her son being in prison. I was in prison. It was such a DARK time in my life. I was STUCK!!  I weeped when she shared about fighting for the women in prison. It really touched me. I am so glad God was not finished with my story. He is still writing my story. My boys are playing in their rooms right now nicely,(at least for the moment), dinner is in the oven, and Billy will be home soon. I still can feel stuck at any given moment but I know the MASTER! He is a GOOD GOOD FATHER. When I am weak he is STRONG!! I like to tell people and myself that I am STRONG! BUT sometimes the raw truth is I get scared or anxious or overwhelmed. I know we all do. That is when I call on JESUS! I have a beautiful life. It is filled with my 3 year old telling me he needs to poop as soon as our food comes at a restaurant, my husband getting home after 11 because it took AAA forever to bring him a battery at his office, and forgetting at least 3 things EVERY week that I grocery shop and that is WITH having a list. Debbie Stuart (our speaker from this weekend) really lives by and teaches that we should spend 20 minutes a day everyday for the rest of our lives studying the WORD. I'm really trying to apply that. This morning my main study verse was Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters. That includes wiping butts, kissing boo boos, and washing dishes. God calls us to him. Often we run to other places to get help or encouraged and HE is always there waiting saying I am here dear MENDY. I am here. I am forever grateful that I have a Savior who loves me so much he sent his son to die for me. I'm certainly a far from perfect mommy but one thing is sure my kids know there is a God that loves them.

Big Things are Happening

     It is an exciting time for Billy and I. WE are selling our home and buying a BRAND NEW ONE. I had the pleasure of picking out light fixtures and counter tops. Billy and I have enjoyed picking out floors and discussing things we want to do. I was in school full time when Billy and I got engaged and got married. I was pursuing a degree in Interior Design. All this is right up my alley. I LOVE IT! I tease some of my friends that I am not crafty when in fact I enjoy that stuff. I really have some sweet memories of Holden and I doing arts and crafts over the past year. You know I am SO SO grateful I get these precious years with them. Even in the chaotic and trying times. I NEVER EVER hear " I wish I could have spent a lot less time with my kids when they were small because man I spent way too much time with them." NOPE I have never heard that. At least once a week I hear "Enjoy it as  it is the most important job there is." Don't I know it. Billy is finishing his last class before starting his dissertation for his doctorate. I am EXTREMELY proud of him. He will have his degree by the next year and half to 2 years. He is taking the longer route with family and work. And it isn't always easy on me or HIM but we rely on God. I will go back to school too when the kids get older. I am excited and the sky is the limit. We have enjoyed our summer a lot. We have gone to the beach a few times, water parks, lake a few times, swimming with friends, the movies, out to eat, state parks, children's museum with my mom, history museum with Billy, and now the boys are in Vacation Bible School. We have had to sacrifice vacation time and other things as we prepare to buy a new house. I am in a very humble position right now as I take care of these growing boys and support my husband as he continues his education. It is not always easy. Marriage is not always easy. If you're married you know that. I love Billy!! When he got home last night we laughed together at he end of a long day. AHHHH good for my soul. LAUGHTER! I am 12 years clean this week. Not bad for a girl who couldn't stay clean for 12 hours! God is a good God. I am so thankful that I am me. I am so thankful that Billy and I are moving into a house that is ours together. No one owned before us and to me that is very exciting!! I grew up watching my dad and brothers build houses. It was fun to see them come together. The most impressive thing to me is hard sweaty work. It is just the way I am wired. Of all the things Billy does the most impressive is how good of a dad he is and jumping in and helping me organize this house Saturday. I had this feeling that after we worked hard all day Saturday we were going to get that call that would be the one. We did! We have an offer and the contract is in the works. The family loved our home. I'll miss things about it. I loved nursing my boys in the chair by the window with a fire going and them riding the mower with me while I mowed and running around in their underwear making mud pies. I am excited to make new memories. I am learning a lot these days and how I want to be.  AUTHENTIC!! REAL!! HONEST!! Asking how someones day is and being there for someone else that's the real important stuff.What impresses me at 42 years old and 12 years clean is matters of the heart. Genuine people. I am looking forward to going for a run today and cooking some new foods for dinner. I am posting a few pics from the boys summer. Feeling thankful today!                  

Off The Beam

     I am reading a book called For The Love by Jen Hatmaker. God has used this book to speak right to my heart lately. She talks about how we set these impossible standards for ourselves as moms. She says that Our generation is so hamstrung with striving and guilt, we no longer recognize God's good and perfect gifts staring us in the face. WHAT A TRAGEDY! WHAT A LOSS! We will never get these years back. Never.  She goes on to talk about our overloaded beams! LOVE THIS!! This is complete affirmation for ME. I have been so engaged with my kids this week. Whether we are going to the movies or at the pool. I am present. I can NOT do it all. She says NO ONE can. She says she isn't even in a small group right now because it's one more thing that will take from her family. (AND SHE'S A PASTOR'S WIFE) We often compare our insides to anothers outsides. Her explanation of "off the Beam" is saying yes to the best which means you may have to say no the good. So as Jen Hatmaker says "So no, you can not balance an overloaded beam. That is not a possibility. NO one can pull this off. No one is pulling this off." I love how bold she is. I am living boldly these days too. I don't care what people think of me. I don't. I am in constant prayer and seeking GOD whole heartedly. I am BRASS. I am organized. I am structured. I parent the way God shows me to and the way that works for US! I can not compare and most of all I can not leave my job to everyone else. I must discipline my kids. I am their parent. I am not doing my kids any favors by letting them run ram rod all over people. BOUNDARIES! I love what she says in her book, "But maybe if we reject the invented standard, if we stop fearing a no will end the world, if we pare our lives down to what is beautiful, essential, life-giving, if we refuse to guilt one another for different choices, and if we celebrate the decent accomplishments of Ordinary Good Hard Life, then we'll discover there wasn't a beam in the first place, that God's kingdom never required a balancing act and Jesus was in the fun foam pit all along." Bam!! Talk about hitting the nail on the head. I have been journaling and praying a lot. It is me. It is what I do. I love her whole chapter on being 40. I discipline the way I see fit. Billy and I are pretty much on the same page.  We believe in teaching our kids. Celebrate who they are. In this season I celebrate this ordinary beautiful life.  I have 3 women in my life that really breathe life into my ordinary days. Each in a different season. Ashlee has teenagers and is back in school for her masters degree. She is an RN and student right now. AMAZING!! She is generous, brave, loving and lives for  GOD and her children. She is hysterical. I celebrate her. Jessica has a masters degree and has put it away to raise her small children and lead them and be with them. She is clever, kind, bold, and says what she means. She is Hysterical.  AMAZING!! Danielle has 3 children and is a business owner. She is kind, loyal, and gentle. She is a wonderful listener. She is hysterical!! ARE YOU SENSING A THEME??  I have some funny friends. I am so thankful for laughter. I am not a laid back person. In MOPS everyone is sure to say it's ok if your house is messy. Well I am here to say its ok if it's CLEAN. I am wired that way. My mom say she never had to tell me to make my bed. i just did it!! I am structured, organized, a planner, and list maker. I am thankful for these women who are in different seasons and different than me  in so many ways. I celebrate them. God has spoke to my heart bunches this week. I know many other women who I admire and respect. Fran who is courageous and gracious. Erika who is good at being able to go with the flow and laugh. Sherra who is so responsible and wise. Whitney who is generous, a great listener,  and very hard working. My mom who sacrificed everything for us and was so good at making childhood memories for me. From washing my doll clothes to putting my medicine in jelly so I could take it. My mother in law who is out going and fun. My sister in law Lisa who is DRIVEN and brave. My Aunt Leah who is sweet and mellow. My Aunt B who has taught me lots and loves us BIG!! My sister in law Jamie who is so laid back and easy going. My sister in law Elaine who is a JOY and so loving. Teresa who without her honesty and calling me out on my crap I don't think I would be here. She is so STRONG. Her strength and courage amaze me. I don't have to be anyone else today and in this western culture where we compare and judge I vow to celebrate! Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 says:

A Time for Everything

3 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.   I celebrate this season of my life and the beautiful things that are on my beam. here are just a few. 

1)I am  thankful for all the time I get to read with Tanner. 

2)I am thankful for Holden and how he loves to kiss with our eyes open looking at each other and then he laughs so BIG.

3)Thankful I love to work in the yard and mow. I spend hours outside getting dirty with my kids.

4) I love that when it was time to go bike riding Tanner walks out reading a book. LOVE HIM!!

5) I love love that I'm raising boys as I am not much into doing hair. :)

6) I love taking pictures.

7) I am so thankful I get to bake with my kids and go to the farmers market with them. Tanner loves rasberrys, peaches, and peppers. 

8) Holden LOVES cheese sticks dipped in ketchup. LOVE HIM!!

9) I love that when my purse broke this week Holden TRULY thought he could fix it. I think he is pretty confident. 

10) I love that Holden told me last night, "Mom you can do anything right? Except fly though, you can't do that. 

That will probably be the best compliment I will ever get. In the eyes of my three year old I can do anything. Except FLY. :) I have an abundance of gifts. Right now it looks like a messy haired boy climbing in my bed before I'm fully awake, a stick in my laundry room that I received as a "gift', and a heart that is UNBURDENED my comparison.     Ecclesiastes 5: 18-20 After looking at the way things are on this earth, here’s what I’ve decided is the best way to live: Take care of yourself, have a good time, and make the most of whatever job you have for as long as God gives you life. And that’s about it. That’s the human lot. Yes, we should make the most of what God gives, both the bounty and the capacity to enjoy it, accepting what’s given and delighting in the work. It’s God’s gift! God deals out joy in the present, the now.  

  Enjoy the blessings God has given YOU specifically.