Off The Beam

     I am reading a book called For The Love by Jen Hatmaker. God has used this book to speak right to my heart lately. She talks about how we set these impossible standards for ourselves as moms. She says that Our generation is so hamstrung with striving and guilt, we no longer recognize God's good and perfect gifts staring us in the face. WHAT A TRAGEDY! WHAT A LOSS! We will never get these years back. Never.  She goes on to talk about our overloaded beams! LOVE THIS!! This is complete affirmation for ME. I have been so engaged with my kids this week. Whether we are going to the movies or at the pool. I am present. I can NOT do it all. She says NO ONE can. She says she isn't even in a small group right now because it's one more thing that will take from her family. (AND SHE'S A PASTOR'S WIFE) We often compare our insides to anothers outsides. Her explanation of "off the Beam" is saying yes to the best which means you may have to say no the good. So as Jen Hatmaker says "So no, you can not balance an overloaded beam. That is not a possibility. NO one can pull this off. No one is pulling this off." I love how bold she is. I am living boldly these days too. I don't care what people think of me. I don't. I am in constant prayer and seeking GOD whole heartedly. I am BRASS. I am organized. I am structured. I parent the way God shows me to and the way that works for US! I can not compare and most of all I can not leave my job to everyone else. I must discipline my kids. I am their parent. I am not doing my kids any favors by letting them run ram rod all over people. BOUNDARIES! I love what she says in her book, "But maybe if we reject the invented standard, if we stop fearing a no will end the world, if we pare our lives down to what is beautiful, essential, life-giving, if we refuse to guilt one another for different choices, and if we celebrate the decent accomplishments of Ordinary Good Hard Life, then we'll discover there wasn't a beam in the first place, that God's kingdom never required a balancing act and Jesus was in the fun foam pit all along." Bam!! Talk about hitting the nail on the head. I have been journaling and praying a lot. It is me. It is what I do. I love her whole chapter on being 40. I discipline the way I see fit. Billy and I are pretty much on the same page.  We believe in teaching our kids. Celebrate who they are. In this season I celebrate this ordinary beautiful life.  I have 3 women in my life that really breathe life into my ordinary days. Each in a different season. Ashlee has teenagers and is back in school for her masters degree. She is an RN and student right now. AMAZING!! She is generous, brave, loving and lives for  GOD and her children. She is hysterical. I celebrate her. Jessica has a masters degree and has put it away to raise her small children and lead them and be with them. She is clever, kind, bold, and says what she means. She is Hysterical.  AMAZING!! Danielle has 3 children and is a business owner. She is kind, loyal, and gentle. She is a wonderful listener. She is hysterical!! ARE YOU SENSING A THEME??  I have some funny friends. I am so thankful for laughter. I am not a laid back person. In MOPS everyone is sure to say it's ok if your house is messy. Well I am here to say its ok if it's CLEAN. I am wired that way. My mom say she never had to tell me to make my bed. i just did it!! I am structured, organized, a planner, and list maker. I am thankful for these women who are in different seasons and different than me  in so many ways. I celebrate them. God has spoke to my heart bunches this week. I know many other women who I admire and respect. Fran who is courageous and gracious. Erika who is good at being able to go with the flow and laugh. Sherra who is so responsible and wise. Whitney who is generous, a great listener,  and very hard working. My mom who sacrificed everything for us and was so good at making childhood memories for me. From washing my doll clothes to putting my medicine in jelly so I could take it. My mother in law who is out going and fun. My sister in law Lisa who is DRIVEN and brave. My Aunt Leah who is sweet and mellow. My Aunt B who has taught me lots and loves us BIG!! My sister in law Jamie who is so laid back and easy going. My sister in law Elaine who is a JOY and so loving. Teresa who without her honesty and calling me out on my crap I don't think I would be here. She is so STRONG. Her strength and courage amaze me. I don't have to be anyone else today and in this western culture where we compare and judge I vow to celebrate! Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 says:

A Time for Everything

3 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.   I celebrate this season of my life and the beautiful things that are on my beam. here are just a few. 

1)I am  thankful for all the time I get to read with Tanner. 

2)I am thankful for Holden and how he loves to kiss with our eyes open looking at each other and then he laughs so BIG.

3)Thankful I love to work in the yard and mow. I spend hours outside getting dirty with my kids.

4) I love that when it was time to go bike riding Tanner walks out reading a book. LOVE HIM!!

5) I love love that I'm raising boys as I am not much into doing hair. :)

6) I love taking pictures.

7) I am so thankful I get to bake with my kids and go to the farmers market with them. Tanner loves rasberrys, peaches, and peppers. 

8) Holden LOVES cheese sticks dipped in ketchup. LOVE HIM!!

9) I love that when my purse broke this week Holden TRULY thought he could fix it. I think he is pretty confident. 

10) I love that Holden told me last night, "Mom you can do anything right? Except fly though, you can't do that. 

That will probably be the best compliment I will ever get. In the eyes of my three year old I can do anything. Except FLY. :) I have an abundance of gifts. Right now it looks like a messy haired boy climbing in my bed before I'm fully awake, a stick in my laundry room that I received as a "gift', and a heart that is UNBURDENED my comparison.     Ecclesiastes 5: 18-20 After looking at the way things are on this earth, here’s what I’ve decided is the best way to live: Take care of yourself, have a good time, and make the most of whatever job you have for as long as God gives you life. And that’s about it. That’s the human lot. Yes, we should make the most of what God gives, both the bounty and the capacity to enjoy it, accepting what’s given and delighting in the work. It’s God’s gift! God deals out joy in the present, the now.  

  Enjoy the blessings God has given YOU specifically. 

Don't Let Me Down

     I can sometimes look right at my kids and see them looking at me and their expression is saying "Don't let me down". I am a mommy. It's a tough gig. I love my boys so much. There are moments when I think  "my word this is HARD" Haha I think every mommy feels that way at times. I mean the things they do and say sometimes I am like GEEZE really guys. For instance we were riding down to Lakeland last weekend and we saw a bumper sticker that said "I'm speeding because I have to poop". Well I have a child who can read now and very well for that matter and all I have heard for a week is "I'm speeding because I have to poop". Oh happy happy joy joy. :) On the other side of that Holden loves to pick up rocks and sticks and give them to me. He gave me a cool stick from Homosassa State Park when we went yesterday. I saved it. He is a very giving and kind boy. He loves to help me and do things with me so you know it's all about balance. :) Tanner finished Kindergarten with an awesome Bridging ceremony and end of the year party at the splash pad. What a great kindergarten year he had. He finished 4th in Accelerated reading in all of kindergarten. So proud of him. I try not to pressure him on things just because it's what everyone else is doing. They have their own interests and likes. They have their own strengths and struggles. Sometimes the hardest thing is letting GO and letting them figure out a few things on their own. I have a lot to learn and I grow with them. I hope I can be full of GRACE. I hope I can show them lots of love and support. I also want to raise boys who will be respectful men who love GOD and others. I am still learning how to get outside myself. We are teaching them the same. Some days are better than others. Laughter is truly the best medicine and encouragement and PRAISE!!! In all the work you are doing, work the best you can. Work as if you were working for the Lord not men. Colossians 3:23.