2012

It is quiet and I am thankful for a warm cozy house. I am looking forward to a NEW YEAR! I am curious to see what God has in store for me and my little family. We are going to try for a second child in 2012. We went through a lot to get pregnant with Tanner and I think I am really o.k. either way. I know it will be hard and challenging. I also know it will be fun, adventurous, and a total blessing. I would love to give Tanner a brother or sister because I know how special it is to have a sibling. I am starting the new year off with my first full marathon at Disney. I have accomplished a lot of goals that I set for myself in 2011. I could not have done it without wonderful family support, awesome friends, and most important a loving God. I am still working on myself and doing my best to help others and keep my recovery top priority. I will continue trusting God in all things. Tanner is so fun now. At 2 he is talking in full sentences. Today he said "go home play with Ted" Ted is his Mr.Potato Head he got for Christmas. That seems to be his favorite thing this year. Although he loves his pop up tent and clubhouse he got at memes and grampys house. He also LOVES the Handy Many tools my mom got for him!! He is enjoying his new swing set and I can not wait to hang out back there with the other kids and cook out etc. Last night I babysat my friends little girl and we watched movies and ate popcorn. Tanner loved having popcorn for the first time. He is such an awesome little boy! He cracks me up. I love the way he says " Hi Mama" as he wraps himself around my leg or lays his head on my shoulder. He makes my heart melt. It has been nice doing things as a family and having Billy to share all my life moments with!! I am blessed!! 2011 was a great year!! Can not wait to RING IN 2012!! Happy New Year!

Christmas 2011

I am thankful to celebrate Christmas. I am blessed to be a mommy and be able to have Christmas with my boys. I am thankful that the Lord gave us his son. I want Tanner to have fond memories of growing up and I often wonder what our relationship will be like over the years. What are the things that he will learn from me and his daddy. I do see myself in him. He is very creative, loves books, and likes to be a leader. He is loud and brave. All things I see in myself. I remember praying to God to please give me a son and he did. I ask God now to help me enjoy the little day to day moments and not let others or SATAN take the joy out of daily living. I enjoy playing with Tanner, teaching him to brush his teeth, cooking him meals, giving him baths, rocking him to sleep, and going on little lunch dates just him and his mommy. I take him on bike rides on the bike and take him on playdates. We watch movies and go swimming. I love taking him to the pool during the summer or waterparks. I get scared that I will make mistakes.I am the one who disciplines him, and I am the one who kisses his boo boos. I remember what it was like hearing his heartbeat the first time and what it was like when we picked his name. Tanner after Billy's dads Grandmother and Heath because I just LOVE that name!! I am celebrating life and being able to raise a little life. I worry about his future. As a mom you hear A LOT of opinions. I remember God gently remnds me to rely on him and not the World. I really get scared that the WORLD or others will be able to lure him away from us and GOD. I can only love him and guide him. I am thankful for our huge family.He loves being with his cousins and enjoying time with all the rest of the family. I will remember the good times, let go of the bad, and give it all to God. God will help me be the mommy he created me to be. Christmas this year was awesome. Going to lunch with Tanner's GRAMMY and great Grannie AKA Sug. That is what we call my grandmother. Having our traditional Christmas Eve gathering at my aunts house. Our own special Christmas morning at our house. And then over to Tanners grandparents for Christmas dinner and gift opening. What a great family we have and thankful to them all for loving our boy!! Christmas this year was wonderful and now onto the NEW YEAR!

Holiday Traditions

Now that I am married and a mommy I love thinking about family traditions and things to do that are special around the Christmas time. We are truly blessed with wonderful family on both sides. We have started going to Elaine's every year and that is where we are right now as I blog. I love Birmingham and love spending time with our sister and niece. Every year now we get Tanner's picture made with Santa here in Birmingham. This year was the first time I have had to be in the picture. Poor Tanner was not about to do it alone. He loves Santa but I guess just from far away. I have started reading 'twas the night before Christmas to him at night and telling him the story of baby Jesus. We also got our own Elf on the Shelf thanks to meme and WE love it and having so much fun watching Tanner come out to find him every morning. For just turning two he is very verbal and just SO smart. We have named our Elf Roland and it fits him perfectly. We have had so much fun on our trip to Birmingham. We went to the zoo last night and looked at all the lights, had cocoa, and rode the train. Tanner has done so well and we have enjoyed being here. We are heading out again tonight to do some shopping and hang out with Rachel-Kate. Tomorrow we will do Christmas with them. I love going to Lake land on Christmas Eve day and we will spend that day with my mom and my Grannie Elsie. We will do lunch and gifts. Later we will head over to my dad and sisters to put Tanner down for a nap. On Christmas Eve ever since I can remember and even before that we have ALWAYS gone to my Aunt Brenda's house. We usually do finger foods, meatballs, sandwiches, ect. This year we are each making some sort of soup. I am making chili, my sister is making seafood chowder, and there will be ham, rolls, pies, cupcakes, and tons of others stuff. The best part is we each go around the room and tell a favorite memory, read a poem, or read scripture or a story. We then play a gift exchange game and have SO much fun. On Christmas morning when we were little after all the gift opening my mom would make all of us a big breakfast of eggs and sausage and biscuits. I too have started doing that for Billy, Tanner and I. Then we head over to my in- laws. We spend a good deal of the day over there. One of my other favorite traditions is being with them and enjoying our traditional meal. My mother in law is a fabulous cook. We have all the traditional items from dressing, and ham or turkey, all the way down to deviled eggs. She makes amazing mashed potatoes and her green beans are out of this world. I am getting hungry just typing this. ;) We open gifts and usually ( at least since I have been a Spivey) It is a Wonderful Life ends up on the television. My in laws are amazing and we love doing Christmas Day with them. When I was little my entire childhood we ALWAYS did Christmas dinner at my Grannie Elsie's and she too was an amazing cook. She had the best macaroni and cheese and best cornbread. Her dressing was amazing too. I am excited that we get to see her on Christmas Eve but she doesn't cook anymore. My Grannie Janet will be at my aunts on Christmas Eve and I am really hoping she brings her famous home made yeast rolls. She too use to have big dinners at her house when we were young. Christmas is for me always a time to reflect on all the good in life. All the family traditions and all the things that are important. Happy Birthday Jesus!!

Training for a marathon

I am happy to say that after running three half marathons in 2011 and breaking through the two hour mark on the last one, that I am finally doing a full marathon in three weeks. It has been awesome training. The weather has been great. Billy has been super supportive and I have an amazing training buddy. WE ran 21 this morning and we literally laughed half of the way. It has been a real blessing to be able to run this past year and a half for me in many ways. One it has been fun. Two it is awesome exercise. Three It helped me lose the baby weight. And four it is a huge stress reliever. I have really enjoyed doing races. It has been such fun. I have wanted to get back into running for years. I did work out here and there and enjoyed doing boot camp classes but oh how running has been so spiritual for me. We pray before everyone run and I literally praise HIM throughout my long runs. It is so freeing. He has really had his hands on me as I remain injury free. Also through the Holidays of eating more, planning trips, shopping, buying gifts, decorating the house, and ALL the other stress that comes, it has helped me keep things in perspective. Laughing has also been super freeing and really keeps me from taking myself or others so seriously. We laughed so hard at MOPS yesterday. I love hearing stories about my mommy friends and their little ones. I do not feel so alone and also they are pretty humorous. We heard the story of the birth of Christ and how Mary rode 80 to 100 miles on a donkey and birthed Jesus in a stall. She was so young and I am sure she had to be afraid. It amazes me that Jesus came this way. It humbles me and I ask God to give me a spirit of confidence but of LOVE and humility as well. I LOVED Mops yesterday. I love our verse this year. Through training for the marathon, raising Tanner, enjoying Christmas, or simply living day to day I am making that my prayer and speaking it out loud.2 Timothy 1:7
New King James Version (NKJV)
7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. I especially want to remember this with being a mommy. He designed me to be Tanner's mommy. I know he will guide me every step of the way if I SEEK HIM.

Thanksgiving Day 2011

First thing this morning Tanner woke up and wanted to ride his power wheels. I grabbed my coffee and we headed outside. It is a beautiful morning and the weather is perfect. I have so many things to be thankful for. Here are a few. I am thankful for my sister who calls me often. My sister is my girl. I love her humor!! We laugh often. And she is not only my sister but my best friend. I am thankful for my nephew Tristan who loves to come to aunt mi mi's house. What a sweet boy. I am thankful for my mother-in-law(Tanner's meme) She is so generous and helps us with Tanner when we have meetings and commitments. She is a blessing to us and we are grateful for all she does. She loves us so. I am thankful for my father-in-law(tanners Grampy) who comes and removes tow trucks from toilets at our house without complaining. ;)He also is one of the kindest people I know. I am thankful that my beautiful sister-in-law Elaine is cancer free. She is beautiful inside and out. I am thankful for the most awesome nieces and nephews who are a blessing to my life. Rachel-Kate is gorgeous and outgoing! Lauren is so sweet and adorable with her strawberry blond hair. Vanessa is very helpful and kind. Alson is so funny and loves to play. Lissy aka Ali is very talented in music and art. What a blessing all of them are. I am so very thankful for my mom who writes me and sends me comic strips all the time that totally brighten my day. She is so kind and loves us so. I am thankful for my aunt Leah who sends Tanner savings bonds and sends me lots of yummy recipes. We've been writing back and forth for years. I am thankful for my dad who is very hands on with the kids. He takes them swimming, bike riding, and to the park. I am thankful for my brother Scott and his wife Lisa who want to spend time with us and make the effort to come to Ocala whenever they can. I am thankful for my Grannie Elsie who is 92 and taught me strength and how to Trust God. I am thankful for my Grannie Janet who made Billy and I the most beautiful handmade quilt in the world for a wedding gift. She also made one for Tanner. What a lot of time and love she put into them. I am thankful for my brother Steve who loves us and looks forward to seeing us. I am thankful for my brother Seth who is finally having the life God intended for him. I am so proud of him. I am thankful for my brother Josh. He is my brother and I pray for him and God's will often. I am so thankful for my friends Ashlee and Aimee who love to run! I am thankful for running and can't believe we are up to running 18 and 20 miles. I am doing my first marathon in like 6 weeks. I am thankful for my aunt Brenda who we practically were at her house every weekend growing up. I love being at her house for Christmas Eve. We eat, read scripture, we tell favorite memories, we laugh, we play the Chinese gift exchange, and enjoy being together. I am most thankful these days for being a mommy and wife. Billy and Tanner are my world. Here are a few things that are special about both of them. Billy is super smart. He is very strong and not to mention he gets better looking the older he gets. ;) He is very thoughtful leaving me notes often, getting my coffee in the morning, and calling during the day just to see how my day is going. He also is very supportive of anything I do. He has been my biggest fan with my running, he helped me in school when we were first married, he works hard so I can take care of Tanner, and he helps me with the MOPS newsletter that I have to do each month. He makes me laugh and loves Tanner and I and that's awesome! I am extremely thankful for my son. It took us a lot to get pregnant and Satan lied to me often and told us we would never be parents because of our past. God answered our prayer. He is so fun. He loves snuggling with me, he randomly hugs and kisses me throughout the day, he loves people, he has beautiful blue eyes, and every single night since he was an infant I have my special time with him. We read, pray, rock, and cuddle. He will bring me books some nights if it's getting close to that time. He loves it as much as I do. He is very smart and loves hanging with me. Yesterday he went to Fran's shop with me and he loves all the attention and it is natural for him just to go with me. He cracks me up when he gets excited and runs to tell me something. I am thankful to be home with Billy and Tanner and enjoy a day with them. I am most thankful for Jesus and I am blessed he cares about me and I get to talk to him and he has his hands on me and my family!

Tanners Party

What a beautiful day we had yesterday at the park. Even feeling under the weather Tanner did awesome. He is a blessed boy to have so many people who love him. He is going to have so much fun with his Legos, aqua doodle, cars, crayola set, puzzles, and all the other stuff he got. I realized yesterday it is not about everything going smoothly or the way I think it should. It is about family and friends. It is about enjoying the moment and celebrating Tanner's two years with us. I am so so blessed and so grateful.

Message of encouragement.

1 Thessalonians 5:11
New International Version (NIV)
11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

I got up this morning and read my Joyce Myers devotion about encouraging and blessing others. It is something I have been really wanting to do. BLESS others. Then as if God was talking directly to me, when I got to MOPS Linnea talked about women, children, and the need in Africa. We had another speaker that spoke of the need right here.( as in the lady at the check out. )As I was leaving MOPS i pondered about these people in poverty and their needs but as a person who loves Jesus and lives in Ocala I wondered what that specifically looked like for me. I can pray for specific villages, specific needs, I can pray with my son about these needs, and I can encourage others to pray. Also we sponsor one specific child and she writes us. We write her back and send her things. She gets money from us each month which feeds and clothes her. Maybe it does not sound like much but to her and her family it means everything. I do not write about this to brag but to encourage us to pray for others. To encourage others. We think missions is flying to Haiti and staying for a week to help there and then come home and live our life for ourselves. I think the toughest challenge is loving right where you are. I can not say that I am doing this. I want to. I am asking God to show me where I can encourage others. I try to call people and lift them up in their day. I want people to know even in our busy schedules I have thought of you and YOU are important. I LOVE when people call me to just say Hi and see how I am doing. It is tough. People are crabby sometimes. [EVEN ME:) ] People are negative. That just means they need the love all the more. I want my son to love ALL people. The biggest thing that I want Tanner to see is it does not matter how much we have or do not have but JOY does not come from things. TRUST ME I AM GUILTY OF WANTING MORE. I struggle with it all the time. But I have a gentle Savior who is molding me and I see how truly he loves me. He reminds me often where I was 10 years ago. It is good to give money when you can for what you feel led to, BUT oh how important is a phone call to a lonely mommy, a prayer for a bitter cashier, a helping hand for your elderly neighbor, a kind word to your spouse, a little note to your parents, and lots of smiles to people around you. LIVE INTENTIONALLY! I am. WITH GOD'S HELP OF COURSE! God encourages me so I figure you can NOT keep it unless you give it away.

Halloween Weekend

I am so blessed! What a great weekend we had. Tristan stayed the whole weekend with us and we had a blast. The boys
dressed up as Buzz and Woody. Pretty popular characters. Tanner just loves them SO much. I love that he is active and outgoing but will also sit and pay attention to an entire movie and he is not even two. I think that is great. He has all three Toy Story movies and both Cars movies. He just got Cars 2 yesterday. I love Disney!! Woody is such a great character. Tanner made a great woody. He also absolutely LOVES his cousin Tristan. Friday night we took the boys to his Meme's and Grampy's house for pizza and Sat we went to the pumpkin patch and Halloween party. The best part was just having the boys here and watching them laugh together and play. Tristan is a lot like my sister and Tanner is a lot like me. Tanner looks more like Billy but he sure acts like his mama. When my sister came to pick up Tristan on Sunday we all had lunch and then Whitney and Tristan left. Tanner cried for them and was saying "CAR, TRISTAN, CAR" He wanted to go with his Aunt Whitney and cousin Tristan. Then he went down for his nap. First thing when he woke up he went looking for Tristan. They are less than 5 months apart and I am so glad they have each other. We are teaching Tanner about getting outside of ourselves and loving others the way Jesus loves us. It is SO EASY to obsess on things and our material objects. I have to say it was nice just enjoying the boys this weekend and sitting on the porch while they ate Popsicles and ran around chasing Nani. The weather is beautiful. I love to sit on the back porch and look at the moon. It is so sweet how Tanner says MOON!! God has given me a beautiful world to enjoy with amazing people in it. I am in a very busy season of my life but oh how it suits me. I love taking care of my family. I love cooking new things and going on trips. Running races and our long DISNEY weekends have been one of our favorite things to do this year. Animal Kingdom, Blizzard Beach, and Mickeys-not so-scary Halloween have been great. Life for me is fun and I am enjoying it to the fullest. Grateful to be taking care of Tanner full time and also earning some extra income while only having to work two or three days a week. Yes it is true the days are long but the years are short. While Tanner is yes in fact turning two next week he will not start kindergarten until 2015 so we have lots more time of enjoying the preschool years. I already am looking forward to his birthday party, photo shoot on the beach and dinner out. All three happening next week. FUN FUN FUN!!

My grannie Elsie is turning 92

I love my Grannie Elsie. She is a very special lady. She was always so encouraging in my life even when it was really tough to be. I remember being like around 7 or 8 and her teaching me to cross stitch. She hung one of the little things I made her in a frame in the bathroom and another at the end of the hall where the telephone was. She helped me make several cross stitch items for my mom, for friends, and other relatives. She and I spent lots of time together growing up. I spent lots of time with all my grandparents. I never knew my mom's dad because he died when my mom was in high school. My grannie was on her own for many many years. She now lives in an assisted living facility and has now for two years. She seems to be doing really well there. My mom has three brothers and all the family is getting together this Saturday in Lakeland to celebrate her birthday. She was born October 29Th 1919. It is going to be so fun seeing all my cousins, aunts, and uncles. I love my grannie so much. She has all these sayings that are so part of who she is. One of my favorite quotes of hers is "I love you a bushel and a peck and a hug around your neck." She would say this often and write it on our birthday cards too. I feel SO blessed to be celebrating 92 years with her this Sat. and even more blessed to be doing so with our huge family.

The GREAT OUTDOORS!

I love fall. I love decorating my house. I love pumpkin lattes. I love Halloween. I love bike rides with Tanner. I love to look at houses that are decorated with fall wreaths and carved pumpkins. I just love everything about it. Today when we got home from the gym Tanner and I went for a bike ride. My dad bought him a CARS helmet complete with bike bell that goes on the bike and he loves waving at the neighbors as we ride by chiming that bell. He is pretty popular especially on our street. Our neighbors across the street are all retired and the ones on our left have no children. They all love Tanner. BUT who wouldn't?? He is an awesome kid. He is very smart, loves books, (I MEAN LOVES THEM), and is picking up words daily. I love that at bedtime I read and pray with him every night and after our prayers I turn out the light and he cuddles with me. He lays his head on my chest. Sometimes I sing to him, sometimes i tickle him in the dark just to hear him laugh, and sometimes i just pray silently. I feel that God has had this plan for me to be a wife and mother all along. It just took me longer to get here than most. I believe that being my age I ENJOY being home with my son. I love hanging out with my family. I also am so grateful that we have me me and grampy who live near by to take him when we need a break. Also my sister who keeps him for our long get away weekends. It is fun for them too cause all my family pretty much live on one street so he gets to hang with his cousins, aunts, uncles, and his PAPA and GRAMMY! He loves all his cousins. Especially his buddie Tristan who is less than 5 months younger than him. I am keeping Tristan the weekend of Halloween. They are going to be BUZZ and WOODY. WE are going to a Halloween party at our friends Shannon's house hosted by her and Suzanne. We went last year and it was fun. I know the kids will have a blast. I am so enjoying this season of my life. I love being a wife. My husband is so sweet. I went to bed before him last night and he was gone before Tanner and I were awake this morning. He took my car and filled it with gas, made the coffee for me, and left me the sweetest note. Now that's an awesome husband! As Tanner and I were riding our bike today I thought a lot about when I was little. We were always outside. We had a tree house, sandbox, motorcycles, go carts, and bicycles. We use to always go bike riding at this park called Aldermans Ford park. We loved it. I will never forget the year I was in third grade and got a bike for Christmas. It was moroon and Very shiny. And complete with a white basket on the front! I LOVED IT! Now that I am a parent and only have one child. I know the sacrifices my parents must of made to take care of 6 of us! YES that is right 6 of us. I love coming from a big family and some of my fondest memories are being outside riding bikes and playing. Tanner loves helping me in the yard. We water plants or pick up sticks. He even mows the yard sitting on Mommy's lap. God has provided for us all along and his ways are better than mine. We are fortunate too that I am now working part time two or three days a week. That is awesome. I still get to be with my son and Also helping out a friend while earning extra income for the family. HE is so faithful! Psalm 36:5 Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.

PUNKIN.... (Almost 2)

In just five short weeks my little boy will be turning two. I can not believe it. I think this age gets a bad RAP.'] I LOVE IT!!
I am exhausted at the end of the day. I do get frustrated and overwhelmed but mostly I am laughing and kissing and holding my son. Today when we got home from the gym he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house guiding me along. He calls for me in the morning. He says "thank you" when I give him something. It is almost Halloween and whenever we see a pumpkin he says "PUN-KIN". It is so sweet. He constantly wants to be near me. While we are home just relaxing like tonight and last night he lays all over me. I love it. I love when he randomly hugs my leg while I am cooking. Billy is a good daddy. He plays with Tanner and we both are doing our best to discipline him by teaching him and guiding him. We have so much fun as a family. We also know YES we are in the stage of parenting if we go out to eat then he will probably throw things, scream, and get fussy. We still attempt it from time to time. Sometimes it goes well and sometimes not so much!! He loves his new buds Casey and Carlie. They are Ashlee's two kids. I pick them up now a couple times a week from school and watch them in the afternoon. Tanner LOVES them. Especialy his buddy Casey. He loves playing outside, riding in the bike wih me, and playing in his wagon. I SO hope we can get him a swingset soon. It is beautiful weather and it would be so nice to be sitting in the back yard and watching him play!! I love being a mommy. It is a tough GIG!! But an awesome one!!

THANKFUL FOR MOPS!

Today at MOPS was super fun. I am so thrilled to be a part of this group. We all have so much to give to one another and I think God wants us to be this way. It is easy as a mommy and wife to get wrapped up in your own little life. Thinking only of ourselves and our own families is easy. Some days YES that is all we can do physically. I look at my friends that have two, three, and even four kids and I am amazed at how they keep it all together. I am really encouraged by the women in MOPS. We all have a story. We are all free to be ourselves. I run in a few different circles in my life. I have different areas where GOD is using me. The gift I have today is in being myself. I really do not want to be anyone else. God created me to be just who I am. I am the daughter of a MIGHTY KING! He created me. And like Leighton said in her devotion, "God is frolicking in delight at his creation" I try not to let Satan rob me of the joy of being a mom, friend, sister, wife, daughter, and woman. I do not listen to his lies!! I too believe our slogan that better moms make a better world. I want what is best for Tanner. I want him to be who GOD created him to be. I want him to LOVE others and LOVE himself. I do not want him to be ashamed to express himself or apologize for who HE IS!! God wants us to be bold for him and I want Tanner to see his mommy being BOLD for the LORD. I had a great time today laughing and enjoying some fun with other Mommy's. Thank you for today JESUS!! Bless these moms and be with each of them.

MOPS

I am super excited about MOPS! We had our first meeting on Thursday and it was so fun. What a blessing this group will be to myself and others. We are going to serve our community and each other.2 Timothy 1:7
New International Version (NIV)
7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. This is our verse for the year and I am asking God to help me apply this to my life. I want to have a heart that serves. That is the main reason I agreed to do the newsletter. I am stepping out of my comfort zone and wanting to be involved. I want to be a part of this group because it is Christ centered. What a great group of ladies. I feel blessed to be able to pray for these women and get to know them. I am thankful to the mentors who are coming along side us and guiding us and loving on us. MOPS is a group of women that have preschoolers. I love the age my son is. He randomly comes and gives me hugs while I am cooking, he helps me by "throwing things away", I read to him every night, and he says MOMMA so sweetly. I also am exhausted at the end of the day and it is nice to know that there are women who have days like mine. VERY BUSY! I am thankful for this group and I want to be a blessing to others through it. Matthew 25:37-40
New International Version (NIV)
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Love of cooking!

I so enjoy cooking these days. I love trying new recipes. I am making a Chicken Artichoke Pizza tonight from the cook book my sister in law gave me for Christmas a few years ago. I have tried a quite a few Publix Apron's recipes and also gotten a few from friends. All the women in my life are good cooks. I LOVE my mother in laws cooking. She makes the best chili, kidney bean salad, mashed potatoes, and green beans. These are just a few of my favorites of hers. I am learning lots from her just by helping her on the holidays and picking up things here and there. I have not tasted one thing she has made that has not been absolutely delicious. My husband loves her cooking. Everyone does. I so look forward to spending Christmas with them because we just laugh, eat, and enjoy being together.
My grandma Elsie is a wonderful cook too. I miss her cooking. Her specialities were her home made mac n cheese, her cornbread, and stuffing and gravy!! I love her cornbread! My favorite thing my mom makes is a pork chop and brown rice dish. Elaine makes the best brushetta and Whitney made the best fried fish last time I was in Lakeland. I am slowly stepping out of my comfort zone and trying lots of new things. My husband is a BIG fan of mine. He LOVES everything. MOSTLY! Tanner is trying more things lately. He loves mommy's chicken and yellow rice. I saute' peppers and onions to put in it. He gobbles it up.
I made some yummy banana bread on this lazy rainy labor day! I got this recipe from my Aunt Leah. She and I have been trading recipes for years. She makes the best Wild Rice and sausage with biscuits. She makes lots of yummy stuff. And I love my Aunt Brenda's meatballs that she makes on Christmas Eve or sometimes she will make for family dinners.
So blessed to have all these women in my life. I remember the first time I went to my in-laws for dinner. My mom in law goes all out. I was so worried meeting them when Billy and I were dating. I could not have been more loved and accepted. They treat me just like a daughter and are SO good to Billy, Tanner, and I. The best thing is they love us, support us, and love spending time with all of us. So thankful that my son is so loved. I love fall! Florida State football, pumpkin lattes, and cooler weather. Look forward to hanging out in the back yard this year. Maybe we can ask Santa for a swing set! Well Tanner is awake and we are off to the park. Mommy, daddy, and Tanner!!

Prison and FREEDOM!!

I just left the women's prison earlier and my heart is filled with gratitude, compassion, and sadness. These are women who have made bad choices. They have children that they do not get to kiss goodnight. They have aging parents that will die and they won't get to attend the funeral. They have friends that will go shopping without them. They have sisters that they never get phone calls from telling them about their day. They have kids that started school this week and they were not there to see them off nor were they home when their kids came home. They do not get the luxury to go have coffee or even pick out their own clothes. I have great compassion for these women because I too have been where they are and I am so grateful to be home right now. I just peeked in on my son and I can NOT even imagine not being able to kiss him goodnight, read him his stories and pray with him. I know that my freedom is a gift and it comes at a cost. I serve a mighty KING who has had his hands on me. I am a member of a program that has taught me much about life and what is in important in LIFE. PEOPLE are important. ALL people. I have learned this and am still learning this and asking GOD to show me how to love others the way he loves me. I am wanting to serve others and have GOD use me and my past to glorify him. I heard a woman's story tonight that truly touched me. She talked about her dad teaching her to read when she was little. He was able to see her clean before he passed away. It made me think of my own dad. I called him immediately after leaving the prison and so grateful that he came to see me while I was there. Even more grateful that he never has to visit me there again. Billy and I have been talking about parenting and wanting to raise our son loving God and loving others. He will learn alot about life from watching how we spend OUR TIME!! Billy and I believe this verse. Psalms 127:3 "Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him." Listening to this woman's story I thought about all the things my mom did for me growing up. She would leave notes in my lunches. She would fix my hair for school. She stood in line one year forever so that my sister and I could have the cabbage patch dolls that we wanted. ( I still remember mine) Her name was Phoebe Myra and she hated baths. :) My dad would ride bikes with us. He taught me how to ride a motorcycle. He loved spending time with us kids. I know all of us that are parents think of things we would do differently than our parents and YES I do too. Tonight though I am remembering all the things I would do the same. Like hugs and kisses. WE got lots of those when I was little. Tanner does too. Cherish it. I met some moms tonight that are missing that. I can not share about anyone Else's life just my own. When we were little our parents were there. They loved spending time with us and that's what I will carry with me. By the grace of GOD I am clean tonight, I am NOT in prison, I am a present mother, and I talked to both my parents today. Grateful that they stood by me all those years when all I did was hurt them. Grateful today that I can think of others and have compassion for them. I know that I would not trade my past for anything because today I can help others with it. It breaks my heart when I see someone joke or make light of someone Else's life. That is tragic. I know we as humans ALL fall short, all hurt, and all have needs. People were there for me in my dark hours. I am trying hard to do the same. I know with God I can. I am Blessed!!

A day at the beach!

Yesterday Tanner and I went to the beach. My friend Ashlee was there with her family and she invited us out for the day.
We had so much fun. My son loved playing in the sand and water. We would go from the ocean up to the pool. They had the
cutest kiddie pool and Tanner loved playing on the slide. Even Ashlee's mom, Kathy made a comment that most kids run when
the waves come but not Tanner he runs towards them. Yep that is my kid alright. Risk taker. I never sat down once and I
can tell you I was more tired yesterday than after running a half marathon. I love it though. I am soaking up every minute. It was
a very nice day yesterday not too hot. We have had a good week. I finally reserved a pavillion at the park for his 2nd birthday that is in 3 months. I guess we decided to have a Woody and Buzz party. He just loves them so much. He even took his Woody and Buzz to the beach with us and they went swimming too. SO CUTE!! I think we need to make another trip to the beach before the
summer is over. I can not believe it is August already. Tanner my little water boy. I am glad he is so active. We have a blast together.

My little helper

I love my son. He cracks me up. This morning he was trying to be so sweet and bring me my coffee. I haphazardly left it on the end table. THANK GOODSNESS it was not hot and had cooled. He comes down the hall with an empty cup and says "mama." My heart sank as I realized here is the cup BUT where is the coffee that was in it. Well the answer came as I walked into the living room and coffee ws everywhere!! On the chair, the carpet, the magazines, and the table. Well all I could do was laugh. God is really helping me not take things so seriously. How could I get mad when he was "helping"? So after I get the coffee cleaned up I smell a dirty diaper and off to change my son. WELL as i am changing him he sticks his foot all in it and slides it across his cheek.GROSS!! I was laughing and then he started laughing. In the tub he went. Well needless to say we had a busy morning and it was not even 8 a.m. I love being a mommy. Never a dull moment and I find myself just smiling when I watch him playing and looking at his books. He is a doll and just so smart. I heard a quote that said the days are long BUT the years are short. I just want to soak it all in.

My sister

When I was growing up I shared a room with my sister. It was pink! The walls were pink, the carpet was pink, and pink was all over the curtains and bed spread. It was very girlie. My sister and I could not have been more different back then. She was very easy going and I was more out going! She played softball and sports. I played with dolls and liked to dance. When we were 11 and 8( we are three years apart) are parents got divorced. Us six kids were back and forth between our parents. It was a rough time for all of us and I wish I would have paid more attention to my sister. I should have been a better example for her. I can not dwell on that now but I am so grateful that she is now one of my dearest friends. When I was in jail and prison she wrote to me and when I was in treatment she came to see me and made an effort to encourage me in my recovery. I am thankful. I will have 7 years clean this Saturday. We could not be closer than we are right now. We have boys very close in age and they are buddies. Tristan and Tanner. I just spent two nights with them and three days. We had so much fun taking the boys to the park and over to see my mom. It was awesome just being with my sis and her boy. These boys are wonderful gifts from GOD and my sister is an amazing mommy. Tristan is so sweet. He is walking now and trying to keep up with Tanner. At almost 16 months old he is a little cutie. And even though Tanner is 5 months older than him Tristan is still taller. I love my sister and nephew so much and thankful for them in our lives. I know God is in charge because there is no way I would have guessed that we would both be raising boys at the same time. TOO COOL! I so look forward to taking them to lego land in a few months when it opens. So many things for us to look forward to.