Recovery

I am a recovering addict. I will have 7 years clean in three weeks and so thankful for that. I always had big dreams for myself when I was young. I took a major detour when I started experimenting with drugs and alcohol in high school. I was 15 the first time I tried alcohol and 16 the first time I tried drugs. I became addicted. My life spiraled out of control. I made a lot of huge mistakes. I ended up in jail and eventually prison. I was a mess. Hard to believe I like such order and peace these days when I lived in complete chaos for all those years. I mean I was a complete junkie and hated what my life had become. The most important thing in my life was a needle full of drugs to go in my arm and of course some alcohol to go with it. I was lost and confused. I was hurting and I was hurting others. I heard a speaker this weekend that went from being a junkie to a JUDGE! That is pretty impressive. It was not that she was a Judge in itself it was how she got to be a Judge and her attitude about it and where she had come from. She was comfortable in her own skin and worked really hard to get where she was. I like who I am today and I like that I have a personal relationship with THE CREATOR! I like that we are all unique and special. I am starting to appreciate others for their gifts and talents. Appreciate that we are all not alike. I do find myself comparing my life with others. Sometimes I do it with friends or my husband but honestly I am pretty happy with where I am. I like being a stay at home mom and I like having Tanner on a schedule. I like teaching him new things, playing games, reading to him, and going swimming. Billy and I are pretty high stress people but we are both great communicators and really good at expressing ourselves so in the end I think that is where our strength lies. I know there is healing in being truthful and having the willingness to work on me. I can not change anyone and I also know I can not please everyone. ( I have tried at times and it is exhausting) I just know I want to be free to be me! I am aware that there are things I need to work on and I want to always keep God at the center because without him I am a mess again. I want to honor my husband and honor my son. I want to honor my parents and my husbands parents. I want to encourage my friends and family and love them. Proverbs 13: 25 "An appetite for good brings much satisfaction, but the belly of the wicked always wants more."