Holden Russell Spivey

I am sitting here listening to Christmas music with my newborn baby boy laying next to me. I am overwhelmed with love for my new baby. Billy has been home with me and will be for awhile and for that I could not be more thankful. He takes Tanner out of the house every afternoon and it really is perfect for me to regroup, shower, or just have quiet time. They like it too. Tanner has really bonded to him this last week. We are so blessed. The outpour of love from family and friends has been awesome. Meals, visits, calls, hugs, and prayers. Beautiful!! Billy has been leading us in a Christmas devotion every morning and cooking breakfast. We have really bonded as a family unit. Tanner is so so sweet with his new brother. He hears me say to the baby "Hey baby boy it's ok mommy is here" and he'll hear Holden crying and he'll say "Hey baby boy it is o.k. Tanner's here" MELTS MY HEART!! He kisses him and says mommy "Holden wants to do puzzles with me" I love how sweet his voice gets when he speaks to the baby. Well My labor and delivery went very smoothly. And it was pretty quick. I was admitted around 6 or so and they broke my water around mid morning and gave me my epidural right away. I was contracting for couple hours and stayed dialated a 4 for a bit and then the next thing you know she says you're a 9 almost 10. I went into active labor around 4:30 and he was born at 4:52 p.m. It is labor and I am still bouncing back but I feel so great now that we are into our 2nd week. I am done. Our family is complete. I will not miss wearing maternity clothes however I was so thankful for both pregnancies. Holden is the sweetest little baby and so cuddly. I love just holding him and looking at him. I get teary eyed cause I know how fast this time will go and I try to remember that when I am waking up with him for the third time that night. It is very tiring but being a mommy is. I would not trade it for anything. I look forward to all that 2013 has in store for me and my boys!! Merry Christmas!

Pirate party!

Birthday parties are fun but man are they exhausting. I feel the need to catch up on things and post on the blog as I am officially 38 weeks pregnant. Holden boy could come at any time. Really hoping he lets me get through Thanksgiving and decorating for Christmas. I am going to clean and decorate this weekend. We normally do it the day after Thanksgiving but Billy will be working that day as he will need to catch up on work so he can be home with me and the boys for a few weeks. I am so blessed that he saved up a lot of time so he can help with Tanner and Holden. So I had to be sure to post about our big weekend with Tanner man. He was so awesome on Sat when we had a great day with him. We took him to see Wreck-it-Ralph, to lunch, and then bought him some movies. Long day after getting up early to serve at the Recovery 5K. Then Sunday we had lots of family and friends over. Tanner is such a loved little boy. He has 4 hands on grandparents and lots of aunts and uncles who love him. He had a blast but boy was he wore out by the end of it. He slept 12 hours Sunday night. I am posting a bunch of pictures from our whole weekend. We sure are blessed to have this little boy in our life. He cracks me up. I had to go see the foot doctor today( Our friend Sheila)and Tanner says "Mommy I will just stay here while you go." I am like uh NO you are 3 years old. Funny kid. Well thanks to all of you who are a part of lives. Those close and those far away!! You make our lives rich and full!! This Thanksgiving I could not be more thankful!!!

Has it really been 3 years?

I can not believe my little boy is 3 tommorrow. I am weepy as I write this. I am not sure if it's because I am 9 months pregnant, OR just that it is true what everyone tells you. It flies by. I remember Billy and I trying to get pregnant with Tanner and feeling like it would never happen. I felt so defeated. I know a year and a half is really not that long to try and I have friends who tried a lot longer and some who are still trying. But each month no baby comes it is painful for those who are trying for one. I know what it feels like to be on that side. I know people mean well when they say do not worry it will happen. But truly no one knows if or when it really will. It is hard to understand unless you have been there month after month of trying and no baby. Most of my friends and family got pregnant right away and I personally come from a family of 6. I love bein from a big family. I would not have had it any other way. So I just assumed that we would get pregnant too when we started trying. 9 months went by and no baby. Billy and I decided to see someone and sure enough a couple problems.(I will save you from all the details) So we started fertility treatments. Four months of IUI's and still no baby! We were unsure what to do. We went and talked with our pastor, we prayed, and we took a break. The next step, if we decided was invitro. It is expensive and very invasive. We did not know if this was for us. We took a month to talk to God about it. We prayed together often. Eventually we both felt as though we were getting the green light from God. Billy works for the Department of Veterans Affairs and a lot of our expenses were covered by insurance and so everything seemed to be going in the right direction. I have always journaled and I remember journaling that it was our time to become parents. I did not when or how. The funny thing is Billy had had the same feeling reading God's word one morning. We were totally trusting God at this point. In Feb. 2009 we went through with invitro. I could not wait the whole two weeks until the blood test so on day 11 I took a pregnancy test and then the next day too. BOTH DAYS WERE POSITIVE TESTS! At 2 weeks we went in for our blood pregnancy test and the nurse called to confirm that yes we were pregnant!! I could not believe that we were going to be parents. I am so blessed to be Tanner's mommy. He will sin and he will fall short. I do. I have to know that he will too. God is clear on that. He will break rules and he will struggle with things. I will do my best to love him and his brother Holden through it all and never condemn and be quick to forgive. Nothing chokes the life out of relationships more than resentment, judgement, and holding a grudge. I am so thankful my family has forgiven me. And what an amazing thing that when our Heavenly Father forgives us he remembers the sin no more. I will seek God in all my disciplining and love Tanner through all the stages of his life. There will be fun days and hard days! Completely exhausting days and very joyful days. November 10th 2009 at 6:47 p.m. I became a mommy and my heart overflows with love for my child. And in a couple weeks give or take I will be giving birth to our second son Holden Russell Spivey!! I am so honored and so thankful for the friends and family who have come along beside us and helped us be the best parents we can be. Billy is not perfect and neither am I. He seeks the Lord and he loves me and his boys! He is very hands on as a father and I am blessed!! Happy Birthday sweet Tanner!! We love you so so much!!

Halloween Fun

I am super excited it is Halloween. I loved Halloween as a little girl. I have so many great memories of trick or treating in my Aunt's neighborhood when we were little. Billy and I are excited this year because Tanner is really into all the excitement. Although a lot of it is pretty scary to him and we have to be sure to let him know its all in fun. He is so funny though. WE went to Lowes after church a couple weeks ago and the 6 foot witch in there really scares him. He says "mommy that witch is very scary." So cute. He is taking a nice nap today and all excited to dress up as Mr. Potato Head tonight. Still his favorite toys these days. It has been an amazing week. Cool weather, fire in the fireplace, trip to Miami, and my 36 week check up to check up on baby Holden. He was great and so glad I got to have an ultrasound and see his sweet face. I feel so blessed and as it gets very close to his arrival I am trusting God and asking for God to help me in the day to day. So glad my hubby will be able to take a couple weeks off and I have lots of family to help. I'llbe sure and post pictures of our fun Halloween Night tonight. Happy Halloween!!

Being Content

I am finally able to get on here and blog. Tanner has been waking up super early everyday. So by the evening I am literally wiped out. Today was MOPS day and something about being around other moms in the same season of life as me really energizes me. I am so thankful to be pregnant with our 2nd son. I never imagined a life this rich and full. I am so ready to meet our little Holden. I know Billy is too. He is so active and I love feeling him move. I have had lots of energy this whole pregnancy BUT I am finally getting very tired by afternoon. We are blessed that we pretty much have everything for the baby and I am not worried as whatever we don't have we will get. Tanner's doing great in his big boy room and loves his bed. He stays in for naps and all night so I am thankful for that. He does want to play at 6 a.m. but hey as a mom you take your blessings and deal with things that aren't. :) I will be 35 weeks on Tuesday and we go for one more ultrasound at 36 weeks to see how Holden is doing. I have really been trying to teach Tanner about what to expect and tell him that the baby will cry and he will be very little. I am not sure how much he gets but he does seem to like the idea of being a big brother. He is so funny that kid. I asked him after lunch today if he was ready for his nap and he said "No thanks mommy." Hysterical. Well I had to rephrase and say "Tanner its nap time" He is asleep and I am grateful. I love being a stay at home mommy. My life is not glamorous but I do love it!! I can not wait to hold my precious new baby. I wished I lived closer to my mom, sister, aunts, and sister in laws, But I am grateful that they are not that far away. I also have wonderful in-laws who treat me just like a daughter and they both help us out all the time. I have amazing friends and love living in Ocala. I do wish it would cool off more. GEEEZE it is half way through October. I do love fall and get so excited this time of year. I celebrate 5 years of marriage this weekend. How awesome to be able to share my life with my best friend! The good, bad, and ugly! I often get caught up in "wants". I want this and want that. I felt very convicted today. I had to ask God to help me be grateful and content for what I do have. I think it is easy as moms of little ones to get caught up in things we need and want and those list of things we don't have. But truly I have everything! Help me remeber this Lord. Help me to get outside myself more and help others.Philippians 4:11-13 New International Version (NIV) 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.