A diverse world.

I am posting tonight about JOY!! My life is full of it. I am thankful for such a full life. I was riding home Tuesday night from the women's prison and I called my sister. She and I chatted about life. She and I have boys very close in age. Tanner and Tristan. We were talking and I was telling her about that night's visit to the prison. She says"You should blog about it." So I decided I would. I am clean off drugs and alcohol 8 years now. I am a stay at home mom and pregnant with my second child. Because of God's grace and a wonderful 12 step program I have a life today. One that I am so proud of and brings me joy daily. I have people who believe in me and love me. I have a funny strong and loving husband. This week alone I had lunch with my mother-in-law and a nice visit from her, a wonderful visit with my grandmother Janet who is camping out on my brothers property on the NW side of town, and Sunday my dad came up with my nephews and I finally was able to cook him his birthday dinner. I love doing things for those I love. This may seem like no big deal to some people. For YEARS I missed out on all these things. From the time I turned 15 until I was 30 I lived a life of a using addict. I spent alot of that time behind bars. That is why Tuesday night I was overwhelmed with emotion. I have such empathy for the women in there. One woman shared that her parents never loved her and her mom resented her. She never felt worthy. My heart breaks for her. The best thing that God has given me is freedom. Freedom to give others HOPE! It is nothing I have done. I finally just surrendered to God's plan and took some suggestions of those recovering before me. I am so grateful to be an active member of my own life. For a very long time I wasn't. I still fall short and the beauty of that I just ask God for help and he gives it. I read recently in the book I am finishing up (Grace Based Parenting) that God doesnt care about what school our kids go to, if they dye their hair, or how they dress. He cares about their heart. Jesus did not stay in a protected bubble. He traveled! He visited the sick, the hurting, the broken, and those in prison. I love in the book where he talks about raising children in evangelical hideaways and creating a spiritual Disneyland works directly against the development of an empowered relationship with Christ. He is pretty blunt about putting kids in highly protected spiritual enclaves and how this isn't a good idea. Those who think that the wiset way to groom a child for spiritual maturity is to isolate him from the evil corrupted world system or airbrush his childhood environment so much that it exposes him only to the good and never teaches him how to process the bad(Counterfeit) will set a child up for a life of mediocrity at best and spiritual annihilation at worst. I know God has given me a heart of understanding. I have no idea Why most of the women I talk to on Tuesday are there and it doesn't matter. God's world is diverse. We are all sinners. In our western culture it is easy to get caught up with what life looks like on the outside and now everyday I strive to be a light for others. I have friends with all sorts of beliefs and politcal stands and back grounds. I am grateful for that!! I hope I can continue to grow and continue to LOVE others with grace the way GOD so generously love and saved me. I was raised loving the Lord and had bible trophies and loved Jesus. I turned away from him and toward drugs later in life. God always had his hands on me and is using the worst most degrading part of my life to glorify him. I am so GRATEFUL!! I am grateful that I can live a life of freedom today. “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16) It has been a good and busy week. Tanner has been in his big boy bed for four nights now. I am so overwhelmed with joy as the arrival of Holden is getting closer. I can not wait to meet this precious little one who is moving inside me right now as I type this. I look forward to all the days ahead. Tanner and I worked in the yard today and it was so fun just being outside and watching my 2 year old stand under my plants as I watered them. He was soaking wet and so cute helping me pull weeds and pick up limbs. I know I said it before but i am going to say it again. My life is full of JOY! :)