Casting all my Cares upon HIM!

I am actually enjoying a quiet moment. With two boys I have to say its rarely quiet. Not to mention a husband and dog. :) I love it but it is chaotic at times. I have been starting every morning in Holden's room with my coffee, devotion, and my boys. Tanner usually brings his juice and puzzles in and we pray while I nurse the baby. I am trying to hold onto these moments with both hands as they are fleeting. This last week God has really comforted me and reminded me that I am his daughter fearfully and wonderfully made. This morning I read in 1 Peter 5:7 King James Version (KJV) Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. I have been asking God to help me be a strong and graceful mommy. When I doubt myself or I fall short(I do often) I call on him. That's how he wants it. He knows we are human and we will make mistakes But he designed me to be Holden and Tanner's mommy. It is a BIG job and he blessed me with tons of people who love us. But mostly I call on HIM. This verse I have been holding onto. He cares about everything. Even when I feel overwhelmed and utterly exhausted he helps me. I wish I lived closer to my mom and sister and rest of my family so I could just pop in or they could come over more but we talk almost everyday and 90 miles isn't that far. I have awesome in-laws who live in town and I have amazing friends.So thankful for my girl Ashlee who I can run with and vent to. We had MOPS today and I am so grateful to be a part of this fellowship. I have so many women who have come to love on me and the boys since Holden has been born. My girls in N.A. are wonderful and again it is another support group that helps me in my life. Holden is getting so big and he is the sweetest baby boy. Tanner keeps me on my toes daily. I love that I get to be a full time mommy. We watched a video today about parenting by Andy Stanley. I want to raise my boys to be strong confident men in Christ and when they are adults in 20 years that I can be friends with them and that we will have close relationships. I value my time with them and I tell them often. When I was putting Tanner down for his nap I said " baby boy you know I love being your mommy and I had so much fun playing outside with you today." He just smiled from ear to ear and that let me know he likes it too. I know I will blink and my boys will be in high school. That is why I blog. I can go back and read about our everyday lives together. One of the girls gave her mommy minute today and she described motherhood as a bowl of grapes. Sometimes you get a really sweet moment/grape and sometimes you get a sour moment/grape. A great analogy. Today was a sweet one for me. WE wore our PJS to MOPS and made memories outside. Lord I continue to lay my will down and seek your will. Thank you for allowing ME to be Tanner's mommy and Holden's mommy. I am truly in love with my family. I am super proud to be Billy's wife. We watched him cross the finish line of his first marathon (26.2 miles) this past weekend and soon we will be running one together. (If he can keep up with me.) Life isn't always easy and I am sure we will have hard days but as long as I cast all my cares upon HIM he will truly help me.

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Going from 1 to 2.

I love being a mommy. This week has really been an enjoyable week with my boys. It was rough right after Christmas and Billy going back to work and Holden waking up every hour sometimes twice in an hour. I was about to lose my mind on those days. If you ask my hubby I may have a few times. ;) He took Tanner to the movies one day and I just cried. (Those crazy hormones) I was tired and spent.A friend in Mops sent me an email with an insert from her blog from when she became a mom to 2 and it totally encouraged me. She now is a mom to 3 and I praise her. She is always laughing too. :) I think laughter is a must with little ones. But for me things have gotten much better. My boys are amazing. Holden is really developing a sweet little personality and smililng and cooing and is now 6 and half weeks old. Tanner loves being a big brother. He talks to the baby all the time. He tells people about him wherever we go pointing at him and saying "that is my brother Holden." He always says " it is o.k. Holden, Tanner is here." I have been reading to Tanner again every night and I took Holden in there with us a few times. Well last night he was asleep in the bouncy. As we were settling in and Tanner was picking out his books he said "we need Holden mommy" Ahh sweetest boy. I am so blessed to be a mommy and it is the toughest thing I have ever done. Tanner ask to hold his brother all the time. My son is so smart.We played with puzzles last night and Potato Heads and I love spending time with my children. Tanner does have his cute little hang ups like his obsession with Frosty!! :) Through Christmas it was building Frosty, seeing Frosty, watching Frosty, and collecting Frosty. Now he just wants Billy or I to draw Frosty on his leap pad for him or he will build Frosty out of ANYTHING!! I mean anything. From the coasters to the magnets. It is sweet. ( Also a little obsessive) I might know someone else who is that way. :) UH ME!! I want to enjoy every moment with them. I love them dearly for the special individiuals they are. Posting a few pictures and trying to do it all before they BOTH wake up. Time really does fly and they are only little for a short while!

Getting adjusted

I can not believe both boys are asleep at the same time. Billy is back to work and I am getting adjusted to being a mommy of two little boys. We have had some good days like Tanner telling his brother "Hey baby boy" as he brushes his head and helping mommy take care of him or Holden smiling at me while looking right at my face last night. Then there have been some bad ones like Tanner throwing up all over me on Christmas day and his Meme and Grampy's bedroom or me not sleeping one wink that night because Tanner was so sick and I was afraid that my infant son was going to get it. It is exhausting being a mommy. I have such a new respect for my mom, mom-in-law, and any and all mommys. Especially now that I have two that are totally dependent on me. I stay in prayer. I now have 2 new devotionals and I start every morning feeding Holden and talking to God. I fall short but with his help I can do anything. We are trying to get into a routine and sleep when we can. Billy has been wonderful helping me with the feedings and Tanner loves his brother so much. He'll get close to the baby sometimes and we get nervous saying "be careful Tanner" and he will say "mommy I just want to give him a kiss." I am all too aware how fast this time will go and even more so knowing that Holden is not only my second child but my last! It was wonderful celebrating Christmas with our families. On Christmas Eve we had lunch with my mom and she made us a very sweet meal. We also went by to see my Grannie Elsie who is 93 years old. That night we did our traditional Christmas Eve at My Aunt's house where we read scripture, played instruments, sang songs, and ate tons of food. We also played our gift exchange game. This year we even had a moment of silence for all the ones affected by the Sandy Hook shooting and my sister in law made angel ornaments for each child killed. Each one of us took one of the ornaments home and each year we are to pray specifically for that child's family. Our angel's name is Rachel. We will pray and think of Rachel's family each year. Christmas morning was fun with our boys and I made my traditional Christmas breakfast casserole.I love starting our own traditions and having Christmas morning with my sweet famly! Tanner was cute and we loved watching him. We then headed to my in laws where we always spend Christmas day. We have lunch, exchange gifts, and enjoy being together. Besides Tanner getting sick as soon as we got there it was a beautiful day! I felt bad that the little guy could not join us and he was sleeping most of the day but Meme and Grampy's house is so warm and cozy we just enjoyed our day. Plus my mom-in-law is an amazing cook and we had a wondeful dinner. I wrote poems this year for family and plan to keep that going every year. I love to read and write but more importantly I want those that matter most to me to always know how I feel. I will post pictures of our Christmas and say I am so thankful for family. I stay in prayer for my children and all my family. I love being Tanner's mommy and I love being Holden's mommy. I can not do it alone and so thankful for my husband and all my friends and family that love us and help us. Holden is only a few weeks old and I know these sleeepless nights will pass. Then as my devotion said this morning it will be a new challenge. But every challenge is a new oppurtunity for me to trust God and grow. With all the challnges come the amazing parts too. Like looking in the eyes of my new baby, laughing at something funny my husband said, or playing puzzles with my 3 year old. I will cherish the good moments and not dwell on the bad ones.