Getting adjusted

I can not believe both boys are asleep at the same time. Billy is back to work and I am getting adjusted to being a mommy of two little boys. We have had some good days like Tanner telling his brother "Hey baby boy" as he brushes his head and helping mommy take care of him or Holden smiling at me while looking right at my face last night. Then there have been some bad ones like Tanner throwing up all over me on Christmas day and his Meme and Grampy's bedroom or me not sleeping one wink that night because Tanner was so sick and I was afraid that my infant son was going to get it. It is exhausting being a mommy. I have such a new respect for my mom, mom-in-law, and any and all mommys. Especially now that I have two that are totally dependent on me. I stay in prayer. I now have 2 new devotionals and I start every morning feeding Holden and talking to God. I fall short but with his help I can do anything. We are trying to get into a routine and sleep when we can. Billy has been wonderful helping me with the feedings and Tanner loves his brother so much. He'll get close to the baby sometimes and we get nervous saying "be careful Tanner" and he will say "mommy I just want to give him a kiss." I am all too aware how fast this time will go and even more so knowing that Holden is not only my second child but my last! It was wonderful celebrating Christmas with our families. On Christmas Eve we had lunch with my mom and she made us a very sweet meal. We also went by to see my Grannie Elsie who is 93 years old. That night we did our traditional Christmas Eve at My Aunt's house where we read scripture, played instruments, sang songs, and ate tons of food. We also played our gift exchange game. This year we even had a moment of silence for all the ones affected by the Sandy Hook shooting and my sister in law made angel ornaments for each child killed. Each one of us took one of the ornaments home and each year we are to pray specifically for that child's family. Our angel's name is Rachel. We will pray and think of Rachel's family each year. Christmas morning was fun with our boys and I made my traditional Christmas breakfast casserole.I love starting our own traditions and having Christmas morning with my sweet famly! Tanner was cute and we loved watching him. We then headed to my in laws where we always spend Christmas day. We have lunch, exchange gifts, and enjoy being together. Besides Tanner getting sick as soon as we got there it was a beautiful day! I felt bad that the little guy could not join us and he was sleeping most of the day but Meme and Grampy's house is so warm and cozy we just enjoyed our day. Plus my mom-in-law is an amazing cook and we had a wondeful dinner. I wrote poems this year for family and plan to keep that going every year. I love to read and write but more importantly I want those that matter most to me to always know how I feel. I will post pictures of our Christmas and say I am so thankful for family. I stay in prayer for my children and all my family. I love being Tanner's mommy and I love being Holden's mommy. I can not do it alone and so thankful for my husband and all my friends and family that love us and help us. Holden is only a few weeks old and I know these sleeepless nights will pass. Then as my devotion said this morning it will be a new challenge. But every challenge is a new oppurtunity for me to trust God and grow. With all the challnges come the amazing parts too. Like looking in the eyes of my new baby, laughing at something funny my husband said, or playing puzzles with my 3 year old. I will cherish the good moments and not dwell on the bad ones.