Being Rich in What Matters Most

     It is Sunday evening. Boys are asleep. It is quiet. I am grateful for today. I am grateful for this week. I took the boys to Blizzard Beach on Thursday with Jessica and Bella. We had so much fun. I can not wait for Billy and I to take them again. This summer has been fun. Holden is running around and can play now. On Thursday we did slides and the lazy river was awesome. We even rode Team Boat Springs. That was like a river rapids ride and so so fun. I can not wait to go back to Disney. I am enjoying this summer with my children. Holden is talking up a storm now and Tanner is a riot. We have our fair share of challenges but these boys are such a gift. I am happy to be done though. 2 fits us totally. Every family is different. I am enjoying each new stage and enjoying shutting the doors on others. :) Tanner loves movies and books. He really has since being a baby. We bought a few new books last weekend and I am totally enjoying reading to them at night. Billy does too. Tonight he spent time with Tanner and read and prayed.  I put Holden to bed and read and prayed. Holden is really starting to enjoy story time too in his room in his rocker. I LOVE rocking with him and stroking his hair. It warms my heart. I can not praise my Saviour enough for the opportunity to be a mom.  If you think my hands are full then you should see my heart. Looking forward to swimming tomorrow and the Lake this weekend. I am really trying to keep my eyes focused on the things that matter most. Tuesday my Mom and aunt are coming to spend the day with us along with Tristan, Alson, and Lauren. We can not wait!

Parenting is HEARTWORK

 

 I am reading a book right now called Parenting is Heart

work. I read when I can. It is about connecting to your children and reaching their heart. I so desperately want this. I get so task orientated sometimes that I feel like I'm on auto pilot. Feed them breakfast, clean the kitchen, get them dressed, pick up toys, mop the sticky floor, plan a menu, what's for dinner, buy a birthday gift, plan a play date, kiss a boo boo, put stuff back in drawers that Holden's pulled out yet again, change a diaper, clean up a spill, how do you get rid of sugar ants, and on and on. I had a nice talk with Billy tonight. I am so grateful for him.We don't always see things the same but lately we are working really hard to hear each other and respect each others opinions. I am working at not making mountains out of mole hills. Its so draining some days. I am the exact opposite of laid  back. :) I am OK with that today because there are so many things I like about me. I am organized, I love to cook and clean. Yes I enjoy cleaning you read that right. I like structure and order. I love working in the yard. I love schedule and planning. I love planning their birthdays, trips, and other activities. I don't like when things get thrown out of whack. Which they always do with kids. Thus there is the conflict for me. Room for growth! :) Always room for growth.  I had hoped that this blog would always be about the happy joyful moments with my children. Don't get me wrong there are so many but today I just need to talk about how hard it is. How every minute you are taking care of these little ones. I'm at a stage now that if Billy works late and I go all day with just me and the kids it can get hairy. I know you moms know what I mean. But the beauty behind those hairy days is GOD gives us rest. He gives ME rest. He loves me. He loves my kids. Then the sweet moments come again. The special moments just between me Tanner. Like this morning when he came in my room and said "Mommy can I lay with you?" I have to force myself to slow down and enjoy these precious moments. Tonight I read Holden a brand new book called "Mommy loves you." He loved it and wanted me to read it to him twice. He is growing fast. He is the sweetest and most affectionate baby boy. And My Tanner loves to be my helper. He loves to be near me.  He loves that his nick name is "side kick" He is a smart boy and knows how to get what he wants. Its not easy to tell him no or do what's best over what's good. I literally need all the help I can get. I  am so thankful for prayer and God's word tells me to pray continually. He doesn't get tired of my prayers. And some are very repetitive. I remember being pregnant with Tanner and being scared and I'm still terrified. Am I letting them down?, and I doing enough?, will they grow up to love God?, will they respect and care for others?, will they break their arm today?, and on and on but I have a God who is above all that. He is greater than any bad mood, bigger than a toddler melt down, and higher above any man's opinion of me. I am putting all my fears at his feet because he cares for me. When Billy and I were struggling to get pregnant and I did not know if I was going to be a mom GOD knew all along I would be Tanner's and Holden's mommy!! I am so grateful for them. They are a part of me and I look forward to many more days of playing with them, taking them to the pool, Disney (our favorite), and all the special memories we will make.

Taking a moment.

     I keep saying every night I need to write on my blog and I need to work on my photo albums but each night comes and I am so tired I say oh I'll just work on it tomorrow. But then tomorrow comes and I am once again just as tired. Why do I think tomorrow will be any different? Tanner is 4 and a half and he just finished his first year of preschool.  Holden just turned 18 months and is like a tornado flying through the house. Both ages are sweet. Both have their challenges. Holden is at an age now where yes he does say a few words but mostly he lets us know everything going on in that brain of his with body language.  He sure lets us know when he doesn't want to do something. We had a pretty busy weekend. We had our sweet friends Jessica, Colt, Bella, and Taylor over today. That was fun. Boys are down and asleep and it's 7:30. AHHHHHH In the midst of these busy, exhausting, and draining moments I wanted to take a moment and talk about a few sweet ones. Starting with my quote book. For Christmas a couple years ago my aunt Brenda bought my sister and I a quote book. You write down funny things your children say and the time and place etc.  Mine stays on the bar. I write in it often. So last night was one of those funny quotes. After getting in from the lake last night both boys were beat. I was getting the boys ready for bed and I overheard Tanner telling Holden, "Not now Holden I am exhausted." So funny!! At school at the end of the year party Ms. Keri gave all the parents little gifts of pictures of the kids of what they want to be when they grow up and Tanner said he wanted to be a "police cop". I asked him in the car why do you want to be a police cop baby?  He said " So I can take people to jail." Yep that's boy.  Last Thursday Tanner had his renal scan at All Children's Hospital. It was a rough morning with him having to get a catheter and a IV and everything but we decided to make a little beach trip out of it. He has a bad kidney to put it simply. One of his is dilated and full of fluid. His doctor will examine the results of all his tests and we will see her on June 19th. Praying for that appointment. We will have to decide what is best for Tanner and his future. After all the tests and him being terrified they gave him a big bucket of toys. They are wonderful down there. We took the boys to eat and then straight to Indian Rocks Beach. One of my favorite beaches. I remember going there as a little girl with my parents and packing our lunches. It was fun sharing that with Tanner. The boys loved it. We can not wait to go back to the beach. Maybe one day when Billy and I are retired we can have a place on the beach. (A girl can dream right??) I think as boys get older my fondest memories will be these special times of getting away to the beach or Disney. Yes there are the tired cranky moments. Yes there are the silly joyful moments. Last night Billy was gone and Tanner was asleep and Holden woke up and I went in his room and he was pointing to the living room and I said "Wanna come out here with mama?" Of course he nodded his head yes. (I love the way he nods his head) So we went to the couch. He snuggled with me and let me stroke his hair. He rubbed my arm and it was nice. These moments are brief with my busy toddler because these days when I hold him its more like holding a Jack Russell. I am grateful to be able to "journal'. I found a bunch of my old journals from when I first got to Marion County and first got clean. I wrote all the time. It is very therapeutic for me. I am so looking forward to seeing my mom and dad this week. The boys will be happy too to see their Grammy and PaPa. I have missed them. I feel so blessed to be so tired. I have some great friends that encourage me, great family who love us and support us, and a network of people who will listen and lift up. Life is good. Also I got to ride bikes with the Bestie this weekend. That's always a bonus on top of our running. :) Hanging on to God's word 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. I love this verse because I know he cares so deeply for every detail of life to the frustrating wrestling toddler who wont let you change his diaper to the sticky floor that you already mopped once that day. He cares and I am so grateful he does.