Taking a moment.

     I keep saying every night I need to write on my blog and I need to work on my photo albums but each night comes and I am so tired I say oh I'll just work on it tomorrow. But then tomorrow comes and I am once again just as tired. Why do I think tomorrow will be any different? Tanner is 4 and a half and he just finished his first year of preschool.  Holden just turned 18 months and is like a tornado flying through the house. Both ages are sweet. Both have their challenges. Holden is at an age now where yes he does say a few words but mostly he lets us know everything going on in that brain of his with body language.  He sure lets us know when he doesn't want to do something. We had a pretty busy weekend. We had our sweet friends Jessica, Colt, Bella, and Taylor over today. That was fun. Boys are down and asleep and it's 7:30. AHHHHHH In the midst of these busy, exhausting, and draining moments I wanted to take a moment and talk about a few sweet ones. Starting with my quote book. For Christmas a couple years ago my aunt Brenda bought my sister and I a quote book. You write down funny things your children say and the time and place etc.  Mine stays on the bar. I write in it often. So last night was one of those funny quotes. After getting in from the lake last night both boys were beat. I was getting the boys ready for bed and I overheard Tanner telling Holden, "Not now Holden I am exhausted." So funny!! At school at the end of the year party Ms. Keri gave all the parents little gifts of pictures of the kids of what they want to be when they grow up and Tanner said he wanted to be a "police cop". I asked him in the car why do you want to be a police cop baby?  He said " So I can take people to jail." Yep that's boy.  Last Thursday Tanner had his renal scan at All Children's Hospital. It was a rough morning with him having to get a catheter and a IV and everything but we decided to make a little beach trip out of it. He has a bad kidney to put it simply. One of his is dilated and full of fluid. His doctor will examine the results of all his tests and we will see her on June 19th. Praying for that appointment. We will have to decide what is best for Tanner and his future. After all the tests and him being terrified they gave him a big bucket of toys. They are wonderful down there. We took the boys to eat and then straight to Indian Rocks Beach. One of my favorite beaches. I remember going there as a little girl with my parents and packing our lunches. It was fun sharing that with Tanner. The boys loved it. We can not wait to go back to the beach. Maybe one day when Billy and I are retired we can have a place on the beach. (A girl can dream right??) I think as boys get older my fondest memories will be these special times of getting away to the beach or Disney. Yes there are the tired cranky moments. Yes there are the silly joyful moments. Last night Billy was gone and Tanner was asleep and Holden woke up and I went in his room and he was pointing to the living room and I said "Wanna come out here with mama?" Of course he nodded his head yes. (I love the way he nods his head) So we went to the couch. He snuggled with me and let me stroke his hair. He rubbed my arm and it was nice. These moments are brief with my busy toddler because these days when I hold him its more like holding a Jack Russell. I am grateful to be able to "journal'. I found a bunch of my old journals from when I first got to Marion County and first got clean. I wrote all the time. It is very therapeutic for me. I am so looking forward to seeing my mom and dad this week. The boys will be happy too to see their Grammy and PaPa. I have missed them. I feel so blessed to be so tired. I have some great friends that encourage me, great family who love us and support us, and a network of people who will listen and lift up. Life is good. Also I got to ride bikes with the Bestie this weekend. That's always a bonus on top of our running. :) Hanging on to God's word 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. I love this verse because I know he cares so deeply for every detail of life to the frustrating wrestling toddler who wont let you change his diaper to the sticky floor that you already mopped once that day. He cares and I am so grateful he does.